My Vegan Jan


What someone is putting in their mouth is always the most interesting subject, never mind world politics or global warming, what everyone wants to know these days is 'What are you eating?".  So, I'm coming out. Die hard carnivore me has ceased to consume fellow mammals for at least a short amount of time. This decision, and the sharing of the subject with plant eaters that I used to ridicule, has caused me now to be ridiculed, pointed at and laughed at with such taunts as "You're vegan now?" Not to be confused with being a Trump supporter, to this I say "Yes, I've stopped my annual trips to Abra and don't do Denny's sausages anymore". My youngest son calls me a dirty vegan, just as well he didn't see me with my face full of full-cream banoffee pie last night, mmmm. But is was still December then and Debbie Reynolds had just died so I was consoling myself. I reckon if veganism is the worst I can do, it sets me up nicely for future follies of double homicide or stealing babies, should the whim take me. 

Soo, why eat plants? Well they are easy targets really, just sitting there all vulnerable, having no legs they can't run away. Also their cheerful colours are so attractive and promising, green, orange, red, purple, yellow. How can you feel blue when you eat the rainbow? I grew up eating meat every day, then I fell in love with Paul Weller when I was fourteen and gave up meat in the hope that he would hear about that and come to Limerick and marry me. I know he likes them young but fourteen is just a bit, well, Bill Wyman. Back then fish was considered a vegetable so I enjoyed a pampering of salmon steaks and endless tuna sandwiches, but broccoli or garlic had barely been invented so vegetables were still just carrots and turnips. My staple dinner was a 'pie' made of layers of potato and tomato topped with breadcrumbs and cheese, which was actually really nice. Paul Weller never showed up so I went back on the meat wagon with gusto, consuming as many creatures as my hungry jaws could mangle. The I got into lifting weights, which I got out of after one year of going around showing off my muscles and feeling exhausted and eating so much meat I could barely keep up with my own appetite. Tai Chi is my choice of recreation now, and more recently, jumping up and down on a trampoline so these require less animal, to be honest I don't know if anything really requires animal, at least not the battery living, antibiotic filled substance meat we are being sold as meat these days. 

Good meat costs much more because it costs much more to rear and care for. So good meat becomes a statement of economic status, sometimes it can cost as much as four times the price for non-GMO produce from a farmer that practices ethically.If you don't care about this stuff, groovey, if you do, you have choices; buy cheaper cuts, eat less meat and more veg. Meat is filling and I really wanted to eat more veg, so I have challenged myself to eat no meat at all for a month and then see how I go. I've been warming up to it over Christmas and did eat ham from Caroline Rigney (no comparison) on Christmas day. Turkey I can easily live without. When I first started prepping vegan meals my head was melted, it's so easy to throw a chicken in the oven and walk away. Now there are beans to soak and things to invent, and the chopping! So much chopping. So I tackled my kitchen  after drinking several glasses of wine, (wine is a fruit) and chucked out a load of crap from the freezer. The next day I spent my Christmas money on a lot of tins of organic beans, bags of nuts, nut butters that are so expensive there must be crack cocaine in them, and boxes of medjool dates, the sex of the vegan world. 

I got past the hummus and sourdough, olives, pesto, salads, dahls, veggie curries and grains (all of which I love anyway) and got to the sweet treats and snacks, naturally gluten free bounty bars, caramel tarts and chocolate milkshakes, (thanks to the Happy Pear for the support and nice photos of your abs to encourage me), so it's been a tasty time actually. Dinners were tricky but the upside is that if you make a bunch of stuff together, you can have days of food in the fridge to reheat. If you get enough veg, fats and good grains and don't rely on toast and spaghetti hoops, you can enjoy some really good grub. 

Anyhoo, it's #veganjan for now. And my 19yo son is on it too and so are most of his pals because they are art students. Nobody likes a ranty vegan so I'll just pop out and murder someone to level things off. 

Happy new year :))

Meanwhile, make these bounty bars from the double vision delight that are the Happy Pear. 



3 Tbsp Coconut Oil
4 Tbsp Maple Syrup
1 Tsp Vanilla Extract
200G Desiccated Coconut
75G Ground Almonds
Pinch of Salt
350G 70% Dark Chocolate


  • Place the Coconut Oil into a pan on medium heat and add the Maple Syrup and Vanilla extract
  • While these are melting , prepare your dry ingredients
  • Pour the dessicated coconut and ground almonds into a mixing bowl
  • Once the coconut oil has melted, add the heated mix to the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly
  • Next up…chocolate! Place your chocolate in a glass bowl of melt it over a pot of boiling water, stirring occasionally until it melts to a nice consistency
  • Place parchment paper onto a baking tray and spread the dry coconut mixture onto it
  • Shape and form the coconut into a square shape roughly 4×4 inches and 1 inch high
  • Place the baking tray into the freezer for 20 minutes to harden
  • After 20 minutes the coconut bars should be firm enough to cut into solid bar shapes
  • Use the best method you can to coat the bars in the melted dark chocolate (We have found that placing the bar on a large knife and pouring the chocolate over the bar with a ladle, seems to be a good tactic!)
  • Place the now coated bars onto parchment paper and onto a baking tray and pop them in the fridge for 10-15 minutes to allow the chocolate to cool and harden

Boom….Bounty Bars, Vegan, Gluten Free…Win!




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